Saturday, 20 February 2010

is there somebody who still believes in love?

i know you're out there (8) sigh*
okay, so I’ve been inspired to resurrect this blog.
so a quick recap;

I am now into my third week of year.. wait for it.. ten!
"1" "0" ten, the big one oh, double digits.

haha, these are old thoughts I’ve been having but i might as well document my mind frame at the moment. And since I have lost my most recent dairy this seems like the best alternative.

Well at this moment in time I cannot recall any past thoughts
but what’s really dwelling on my mind is, how much i miss everyone.

I knew I would miss them at the end of last year but now every time i look back thinking of my classmates and teachers brings tears to my eyes, i don’t know maybe, possibly I’m just overly emotional.

But i.. i just miss everyone so much, and I’m sure everyone feels like this one time or another, and to some extent but. I don’t, i haven’t heard anyone express these emotion. Our class has been together for 3 years. 7.5,8.5,9.5. I had come to the conclusion AGES ago that we've all hated each other at one stage, but our class was good, is good., together. Why? why do i feel like this why do i have to feel like this. No one else seems to care as much as i do.

I feel like I’m drifting apart from some of my closest friends, i can see them changing, i can see myself changing but and i know there’s a gap, but i can’t bring myself to bridge it. I don’t know how. Time, distance, the future are they to blame? are they the enemies or are we our own enemies. I just miss everyone so much and i do welcome change its just idk. I’m going around in circles. And yet i still manage to get chocked about it.

There are so many memories i don’t remember, and it kills me to know that i wont remember everything, i wont remember everyday, every detail. "i want to keep all my memories even if they hurt me now i want to keep them. SO that one day when I’m strong enough to look back and they won’t hurt me anymore. And ill be glad to have them. " It feels good to put things down, although i prefer pen to paper, cause it has that more personal touch.. But that a topic for another day.
Something that this post needed;
some shiny pink stuff.